Swingham
Saw Singham finally in a multiplex jam packed with 9 people a few nights back. This is not a subtle movie. This is a movie that mauls the silver screen and leaps out at you. Right from the first 2 seconds where the titles literally propel themselves towards unsuspecting viewers with a roar. Now, how do you introduce a testosterone pumped, roaring hero who will swing his fists at everything that moves. With a song of course. And please don’t wonder why his dance steps primarily include invisible ass-groping in a 360 degree radius. That’s lion-pawing, silly. Watch National Geographic.
Then the story takes over. Actually quite a few of them take over. The story of the overly emotional policeman who blows his brains out because the evil shmeevil villain plants circumstantial evidence in his van, that the entire planet believes, without question. Or an investigation, come to think of it. Then, the story of the young starlet who visits her uncle in Singham’s village and falls in love with him after he beats up a couple of guys who wanted to borrow her dupatta. That hairy, chunky lad will never cross dress again thanks to Singham. Then there’s the story of young starlet’s father whose petname was Genitalboy. No, wait that was his real name. Then there’s the story of the large gelatinous boy-man who turns into a pre-recorded telephone message. Seriously. And the story that connects all these stories to make the movie palatable sense. No, not really. Just jerking your chain on that one.
It was about then that I realized the subliminal messaging that was being cleverly deployed by the Singham anthem song with ‘Singham’ popping every half second. So I started keeping count. Those clever, clever chaps. I had heard 112 Singhams already. Then the evil shmeevil villain meets Singham who thoroughly humiliates him and for no apparent reason, the villagers destroy Evil Shmeevil’s retinue of 9 really ugly looking and mismatched 4X4s. Dejected, Evil Shmeevil walks off with battered cars following him and weeps angrily while sitting on a milestone. It was then that I began to suspect his emotional stability.
Singham chant count: 314
Time for a song. Singham and his hotty visit a lovely montage of rejected props. As the hotty flawlessly stumbles through the lyrics, Singham multi tasks by singing an absolutely different song. So there is zero lip sync in certain parts though Singham glosses things over by flexing and grinning. Not particularly in that order. Then bam! Singham gets tricked by the corrupt system into reporting to Evil Shmeevil in a Goa police station. The dastardly villain storms into the police station and gloats while launching into a cathartic speech and baffling tears. Tears? Yup. Evil Shmeevil angrily gesticulated and wept while threatening Singham. Even Singham looked a little confused.
Mercifully, intermission.
Singham Chant Count: 1899
The rest was a revelation of drama, great acting and a refreshing twisted end. In the theater adjoining ours at the Multiplex. Singham, however, continued swinging his banyan tree arms onto people while leap frogging over them, bashing cars, slapping cows and impaling hapless villains on 3-day old mcdonalds french fries. That’s because Singham was angry. Outraged. Ferocious. Dangerous. Perfect time for another song. This time the lip sync was perfect. Except I couldn’t help notice that the pretty damsel’s voice, which during the movie is quite shrill, now sounded as low as Usha Uthup. While Singham sang his heart out with bared crooked teeth and Christina Aguilera’s voice. They say time heals and I am sure I will forget that song. But not what followed next.
Singham Chant Count: 21,564
Showdown time. Singham had had it. Evil Shmeevil was even more powerful since he had won local elections to become a politician and was downright messing with Singhybaby and his loved ones. So Singham decides to do the unthinkable. Gatecrash a party. Not just any party. A policemen’s ball where nobody seemed to be having one ironically. Singham leaps into the party and tries to unite them against Evil Shmeevil. He turns to each policemen (there were 4 in the party and 1 woman) and calls them each by name. Another Singham feat considering he’s never met them. Then before they could respond he stomps off saying ‘fine! I’ll do it myself!’. If he’d only have waited a bit, he’d have discovered they were all with him and would have saved the army policemen a bundle in petrol bills as they chased him halfway across town to a beach to tell him just that.
Singham Chant Count: 1,23,998
Final scene. Evil Shmeevil is sleeping and his favourite flunky cop wakes him up. Evil Shmeevil gets up and doesn’t for a second question why his flunky cop is at his beside after he spent half an hour locking his house that night. Rather he follows him straight into a trap. Which is 20 sniggering cops lounged in his living room and raiding his fridge. They say the game’s up. Evil Shmeevil, laughs, protests, threatens and quickly cries. The cops go “Awwww!”. Evil Shmeevil escapes. Only to be caught 10 seconds later and have his brains frapped by the cops. Quirky message there about how the cops cover up everything like an encounter killing and all but nobody’s paying attention to that. Singham has won. Singham has kicked butt. Singham smells a sequel. And God bless them, I can’t wait.
Singham Chant Count: 1,23,999
ferzad 